One Year Anniversary

Today marks an important day for an author. Today is the one-year anniversary since publishing my book, BOX OF SHAME: A MEMOIR OF ADDICTION, SURVIVAL, AND FORGIVENESS. I am honored for the positive response from so many of you who have read my story. Life can start out cruel, but can end in something beautiful. When I started this journey, I never expected my heart to hurt. I’ve healed, I’ve forgiven, I’ve moved on, or so I thought. I believed it was time to share, in the hopes that others don’t feel shame, or loneliness. There had to be a reason for my suffering. I’ve talked about my past experiences, but when I started tapping away on the keyboard, I realized I had all the time in the world to capture the true moment. And, as mentioned, I was over it by now, I can write about it without much heartache. But then something happened.

My heart fluttered, a discomfort rumbled in my stomach and tears flooded my eyes. Where was this coming from? I’ve been tough all my life and didn’t expect this. Could I continue to write? I must. This story has been pressing on my heart for years. If you don’t know much about me, know that when I do something, I do it big! I tend to have the typical alcoholic mind set, of all or nothing. Sometimes it serves me well, other times, not so much!

So, back to my point. This book would have to serve a purpose, and that was to help others. I could talk all day about my experiences, but it is in my solitude and peace, where I reach the depths of raw emotions. I had to go there. I had to dive in deep, sweep the cobwebs out of the way and allow the emotions to come. The broken-hearted little girl was there staring at me. She wanted to be seen, she wanted to matter, and to be loved. I became her again, in order to share a painful past. That is where it started… the moment of abuse, the moment of living in fear and shame is where the story began.

I wanted you, the reader, to join this ride, from pain to joy. Life really is a roller coaster, and who doesn’t like roller coasters? I suppose there some people who’d prefer to keep their feet firmly planted.

December 13, also marks another significant day, which is my dad’s birthday, and death day. BOX OF SHAME tells the story of our dysfunctional relationship. He was not father of year, but he was given to me. And at some point, in adulthood, I had to let go of all his wrongdoings. He did exactly what he knew to do. His shocking death changed everything, and something profound changed inside of me. It took years of self hate, addiction and chaos before I could even phantom the possibility of forgiveness. And, I’m not talking about just forgiving HIM. We need to forgive OURSELVES! That is really the hardest thing to do. It is a process and I still work at it everyday as life continues, and my imperfect self makes mistakes. This is how life goes; we are all flawed humans.

Well, now that one year has passed, I hope you can share BOX OF SHAME with someone you care about. Christmas is just around the corner. I will leave a link to Amazon if you’d like to check it out and also a current list of local stores to purchase from.

And, on a final note, I have another book in conception. It will take you back in time, to pre-WWI in Finland. It is the story an orphaned poor boy who is forced into slavery at the hands of the government. The boy suffers greatly in childhood, survives the war, gets married, has a family of his own and is ostracized in his community for his beliefs. That boy is my grandfather.

Stay tuned for an amazing story based on historical fiction.

And, this time on a true last note… FROM THE BOTTUM OF MY HEART, THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT THROUGHOUT THE PAST YEAR!

HAVE AN AWESOME CHRISTMAS!